How Babies are Made . . . According to an 8-year-old

My husband gave our son “The Talk” before he started fifth grade. He was asking some pretty pointed questions by then and we wanted him to know the truth before he heard too many distorted playground versions.

I know that the younger kids tend to learn things sooner than older children but so far, at least in this regard, it hasn’t happened yet with my daughter. At least I didn’t think so until we had this conversation…

Last week my husband was out of town for work. I took the kids to a restaurant on Thursday after my son’s fencing class. The three of us noticed an adorable baby across the aisle who was quite taken with my children.

After smiling and making faces at the baby, my daughter turned to me and asked, “Why doesn’t Daddy spit in your mouth?”

“Um, because that would be gross?”

“No, Mommy. He needs to spit in your mouth so you can have another baby.”

I literally choked on my water. And then laughed until I couldn’t breathe. And then texted my husband and laughed some more.

Seriously, what are they learning on the playground?!

17 thoughts on “How Babies are Made . . . According to an 8-year-old

  1. That is so funny! My daughter asked me if I knew what “doing it” was. Of course I was taken aback and said, “What do you think it means?” She said, “kissing.”
    Phew. But I did then say, “Doing it could mean a variety of things!”

  2. This conversation came up around the breakfast table a few months ago, and my husband was out of town (no back up!). I tried to explain things in a way that would make sense and was geared to my boys' young minds.

    My little guy looked at me and said, “I'm never going to want to do that!”

    I told him he might feel differently someday. πŸ˜‰

  3. Oh my. Although that's actually better than some of the theories I remember from the back of the bus in second grade…but probably a little more gross. Spit makes me cringe.

    Funny, though, and adorable in is own slightly gross way. πŸ˜€

  4. That's hilarious. Seriously, I'm going to have to tell people about it.

    When I was 10 and my brother was 8, my older cousin told us parents make babies by putting their bums together and tooting at the same time. My brother believed it for a couple of years.

  5. Sounds like as good a reason as any not to spit in people's mouths. LOL

    I just asked my 12yo – do you know how babies get made? He does, but he doesn't want to talk about it. πŸ™‚ The 10 year old thinks that cats are involved somehow.

  6. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my 4 year old son thought she would be coming out my belly button, and announced this rather loudly at the YMCA.

    My 7 yo daughter thinks all you need to do to have a baby is be sexy (LOL I guess that couldn't hurt). My 11 yo bust out laughing when she mentioned this one morning. He took the early form of sex-ed in grade four so he understands the difference between sex and sexy.

    Oh, and lets not forget the time when my son (who was eight at the time) asked my husband and I, at dinner, if we have sexual intercourse. I nearly choked on my dinner. πŸ˜›

  7. Has anyone used the children's book HOW BABIES ARE MADE by Schepp and Andry (Time-life Books & Little, Brown & Co.). I did and although it's not a new one I think it's the absolute best ever.

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